Colors

For the first time I go on and brought mobile data or load. I never see any purpose buying it I just want to try what is it like to have mobile data. So I surfed Youtube during vacant time and I felt home I mean there is a lot of noise but still I felt home scrolling Youtube watching videos and then I stumble a video titled Don’t Try – The Philosophy of Charles Bukowski. he is an american writer and poet known for his unfiltered potent and often crude takes on life, Bukowski was born in Germany on 1920, he has a horrible childhood beaten regularly by his father and was ridiculed by other kids for his accent and clothing, and Bukowski developed a condition that covered his face with extreme acne further intensifying his self-consciousness. After two years of college Bukowski quit school and attempt to becoming a professional writer while doing short term blue collar job however out of hundreds of short stories only a few got publish even the one who got publish has no success. Bukowski stop writing disappointed by his attempt he goes on doing blue collar job for serveral years then in 1955 at 35 years old 10 years without writing he almost died from a serious bleeding ulcer after Bukowski survive he quit his job and began writing a couple of years and same thing happen no luck at success and forced to return to his post office job. While working he use whatever time he had to write. Writing nearly everyday before work for years. he became successful until he was in his 50s become increasingly successful and famous in the literary world.

It took Bukowski years and years of writing to finally to be successful Bukowski 1920-1994 passed away, in his grave stone writes “Don’t Try”. How could a man who is successful because of his endless trying how could this man leave the words “Don’t Try” as his finally offering. In a letter to William Packard his publisher friend and fellow writer Bukowski wrote

Too many writers write for wrong reasons. they want to get famous or they want to get rich or they want to get laid by the girls with the bluebells in their hair… when everything works best, it’s is not because you choose writing, but because writing choose you.

Bukowski trying to aspire writers but he is referring something much larger. When you were young someone ask you what is your favorite color and you answer with yellow perhaps blue or whatever color maybe it felt like a choice selecting your favorite color but it wasn’t really you like the color because of how our brain feels about the color you did not choose the color the color choose you. If you have to try to try if you have to try to want something perhaps you don’t care about it perhaps it isn’t your favorite color.

Bukowski trying to aspire writers but he is referring something much larger. When you were young someone ask you what is your favorite color and you answer with yellow perhaps blue or whatever color maybe it felt like a choice selecting your favorite color but it wasn’t really you like the color because of how our brain feels about the color you did not choose the color the color choose you. If you have to try to try if you have to try to want something perhaps you don’t care about it perhaps it isn’t your favorite color.

it’s not that Bukowski didn’t try it’s that he didn’t try to be something that that he didn’t try to be something that didn’t try to want to be a writer nor did he try to write how he wanted to write he just did it and kept on doing it.